Image creditAs the population gets older, it’s highly likely that as an adult, you will be facing the challenge of supporting your aging parents so they can live the life they want with the care and support they need as they get older.
But how exactly do you go about this tricky task of caring for the people who spend many years caring for you without taking away their independence and dignity? This is a partnered post.
Empowerment is key in this journey. The right approach is to involve your senior parents in decision-making, respecting their autonomy and dignity. The wrong approach is to make decisions for them without their consent. Navigating these waters can strengthen your relationship and ensure that your parents get what they need.
These tips can be instrumental in helping you support your parents, so you’re all on the same page and relationships aren’t ruined. Not following these tips could lead to misunderstandings, strained relationships, and a lack of proper care for your parents.
Talk To Them
Before you do anything else, you need to talk to your parents and fully understand their wants and needs. Sure, they might be older and need help, but they’re still adults with their own thoughts and feelings, and they have the right to decide what happens in their lives and how things are arranged and implemented.
Some people might find it hard to accept they need help and can be dead against interference, but other parents might be more open to ideas on how life can be made easier. As their child, you need to talk to them in a way they will be receptive to for maximum benefit from the conversation.
Open communication is key. Instead of imposing changes, discuss your concerns and listen to theirs. Understanding their issues and working through them together can foster a supportive environment and lead to appropriate resolutions.
Listen
When talking to your parents, you need to listen to what they have to say. They will need to be heard and understood so you can make effective plans. If you feel you need help with aging parents, you need to get the help they need based on what they are trying to tell you. The more you listen, the more effective solutions will be.
Hiring a cleaner can be a good idea if they tell you they’re struggling to keep up with chores. However, if they are concerned about safety at home, senior living communities could be a great option, as they can move in with relatives, too. Don’t just talk; listen.
Be Compassionate and Empathetic
Empathy is a powerful tool in this journey. Put yourself in your parents’ shoes. Understanding their emotional needs and treating them with compassion is just as important as providing practical help. The more you can empathize with your parents, the more effective your support will be.
How would you feel if someone tried to take over your life without giving you input? If you wouldn’t like it, it’s likely your parents wouldn’t appreciate it, either. So, before you make any decisions or initiate any conversations, put yourself in your parent’s shoes and reassess your approach.
Watch
Observation is a key part of caring for your aging parents. It can help you identify potential issues before they become serious problems. Are things changing at home? Are they struggling with chores or becoming more withdrawn? Sometimes, it’s not what is said but what you can see that tells the story. So pay attention to what is going on and be aware of any changes that might indicate things aren’t ok.
Include Them
Always include your parents in any decision you make on their behalf or the support you get to help them. They might not appreciate someone going over their heads and making decisions on their behalf, no matter how well-meaning you are.
Talk to them about what you think they need and involve them in all decisions to make things work for them. If they are opposed to support or changes, it might have the opposite effect—and that’s the last thing you want. Ensure your parents are completely on board and involved in every step of the process.
Supporting your parents as they age isn’t about the practical things you can implement but how you treat them and your approach when broaching tricky subjects. Talk to them and really listen to what they have to say. Watch for changes, be compassionate and empathetic to their situation, and include these in all decisions regarding them to facilitate a strong, healthy relationship that is geared towards support.