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in Family· Parenting

Bullying. Cyber Bullying. Let’s pledge to fight bullying together. Let’s put an end to it.

My son was recently accused of bullying.  He’s five years old.  He’s in Kindergarten.  It wasn’t bullying, as it turns out. But the hours and days until we knew for sure that it wasn’t?  A hellish nightmare full of heartache for us as parents.  He was wrestling with a pal on the bus (not appropriate, but it happened) and got carried away.  Both boys said the same thing to the principal in separate conversations.  They walked from the office together as buddies after they met with the principal.  We got lucky-both families, I mean.  Really lucky.  That’s a big part of why I agreed to work with Take Part and help them to promote this STOP BULLYING campaign to try to get as many people to pledge against bullying with me.

But every single day, kids aren’t so lucky.  It isn’t just wrestling gone too far, or a misunderstanding.  It’s real and in your face and life changing for many.  It’s pain and crying and heartbreak and loneliness and suffering- often, in silence. Our experience with our son and his friend was so short, and had a happy ending, but it gave me a lot to think about.

Please won’t you retweet this and help spread the word?

 

With the dawn of social media has come all kinds of new ways to taunt peers and belittle others- and another way to bully others.  Sure, I love social media. It’s fun.  It’s clearly a huge part of my blog, interacting with friends, family, peers, readers, fans, brands and PR folks.  Normally, we talk about the happy side of things. But the fact is that social media isn’t all sunshine and roses.  It just isn’t.  But really, nothing ever is.  Just like school isn’t just about academics.  People are people and sometimes they are mean.  Cruel.  Enough to send people into depressions, to hurt themselves, or take their own lives.  That’s not me being dramatic, friends. That’s the truth.  That’s why I’m writing this today. We have to make it stop.  The bullying, the cyber bullying.  We have to promise, each of us, to take a pledge and follow it and put a STOP to bullying.

fight bullying
What IS bullying?  By definition, it’s intentional aggressive behavior (there are other definitions, but this one pops up the most, the idea is there) .  And it’s not restricted to any age group, it’s not just kids and it’s not just adults.    What scares me is how much more open we all are- especially our kids- to this, in this day of social media.  We have to teach our kids how to protect themselves, but we also have to educate ALL children about bullying and what it means- and what to do if it happens.  Actually, I take that back. We have to educate everyone about what bullying is.  As we educate one another about bullying and get them to understand how devastating it can be and is, we can take the pledge to fight bullying together.

My friend’s little girl was bullied on her school bus when she was in kindergarten.  An older child was taunting her, pulling her hair, and ultimately, video footage from the school bus helped to ensure the older child was no longer able to hurt my friend’s little girl.  A boy in a high school near mine took his own life – he was bullied by peers for years and years.  Bullying isn’t just happening in some other town in some other state. It’s not on the West Coast, nor the East Coast.  It’s here, it’s there, it’s in my school, it’s in your school.  It’s happening everywhere.

Thanks to TakePart for sponsoring today’s discussion

About Brett

I'm a 40 something lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut with my husband and our 3 kids, plus our two rescue pups. We love to hike, travel, play games, watch movies, and just be outside together! Having 3 active kids makes for a hectic schedule and I try to share content, recipes and other things that can help to make today's busy family life simpler, easier, or just plain more fun!

I started working full time at a local middle school in fall 2021 and some of my students are insistent that I am mean.

Comments

  1. connie danielson says

    as a grandparent, I am always worried about my 5 grandchildren and I hope that they are never bullied! I hate bullying! I take the pledge!

  3. Kat Emerick says

    I am 60 years old and most of the bulling in my school days had to do with being poor. Those who had a big house a car and even a television set were the ones who degraded ones the didn’t have all that. Now it seems like the problem with bulling comes from broken homes, child abuse, drugs, and so forth. We need to try to educate and help the ones that are in this situation and hopefully bulling will cease in the future.

  4. Mary says

    I am 69 years old and still recall clearly the bullying I endured at several stages in my school life, not only from the age of 7, from other students but also from one high school teacher in particular. As a matter of fact I was quoting that teacher’s hateful words last evening, to one of my grandchildren, who also has been experiencing some bullying and rudeness from some of her peers. Mercifully, counselling and a new puppy are helping her cope, so hopefully it won’t be such a clear memory for her in her winter years. Here in Canada we have been deeply affected recently by 2 highly publicized teen suicides, both the result of bullying. I am positive that these two girls are just the tip of the iceberg. This MUST stop. Lives are being ruined.

    • Mary says

      I should add, bullying by emotionally abusive husband/partner, serves to exacerbate the long-term effects of childhood bullying. Don’t put up with it, get out before the verbal and emotional becomes physical.

  5. Di Bizier says

    it seems people are good actors, we will always have bad,mean or inhuman people for we are all not the same nor on the same page

  6. colleen mayne says

    I believe that, in one way or another, we have all been affected by bullying. Let’s make that a thing of the past.

  9. Liliana says

    FYI

    THE BULLY EFFECT on Sunday, April 28 at 5:30 and 8 p.m. (ET/PT)

    As a journalist, author and minister, the topic of bullying means a LOT to me and to others.

    Cartoon Network continues its vital conversation with kids and families about speaking up against bullying with a special presentation of THE BULLY EFFECT on Sunday, April 28 at 5:30 and 8 p.m. (ET/PT). Produced in partnership with Cartoon Network as part of its award-winning Stop Bullying: Speak Up initiative and presented commercial-free, THE BULLY EFFECT is a half-hour CNN original documentary abridged for family audiences and features additional original content, including a special introduction by Cartoon Network President/COO Stuart Snyder as well as a candid conversation with CNN anchor Anderson Cooper

    THE BULLY EFFECT chronicles the journey of 14-year-old Alex Libby, whose emotional life is both restored and wonderfully activated because someone spoke up in his defense against bullying.

    14-year-old Alex Libby from the documentary, “The Bully Effect.”

    In 2011, filmmaker Lee Hirsch embedded himself in schools across America and captured footage so raw and eye-opening, it sounded alarm bells and helped create a tipping point about how critical the issue of bullying has become. Hirsch documented a then 12-year-old Alex, who was confronted with slurs, threats and beatings on the school bus nearly every day.

    Following supportive intervention from an adult on his behalf, today he has become an anti-bullying rock star with appearances on national television and a visit to the White House.

    During and immediately following the Sunday telecasts, bullying prevention expert Rosalind Wiseman will provide further explanation of key bullying issues for kids and families, answering viewer questions via an online chat at http://www.StopBullyingSpeakUp.com.

    Following the live chat, THE BULLY EFFECT documentary will be posted in its entirety on the website starting Monday, April 29 at 10 a.m. for free, ongoing viewing by students, parents, educators and community leaders.

    THE BULLY EFFECT will include an introduction by Cartoon Network President/COO Stuart Snyder (Right), and a follow-up conversation with documentary host Anderson Cooper.

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  10. Jorge Alexander Granda says

    This very bad behavior has to end, is it does not, it will most likely continue all through life. Bullies sometimes goes on to become very bad people.

  11. md kennedy says

    What happened to this world? I don’t remember any bullying in the elementary, junior or high schools that I attended when I was a kid; if anyone was mean to anyone else, even if they were not in the “in” crowd, they would have been shunned. Maybe the internet has just made it easier?

  12. Stefhany says

    I can relate the story of yours and I think this article can help to guide everyone that child must be look by their parents so that they will know if their kids bully by other playmates or not.

  13. Stefhany Rojero says

    it makes sense. parents must guide their kids and support them even in school.

  14. Teressa Morris says

    My son was threatened with death and dismemberment by a cyberbully. It was so terrifying!! We were very lucky to have the child jailed and get a restraining order against him. It turned out, while he was in juvenile hall, he had a full psychiatric evaluation and got started on meds he had probably needed for a long time. Now, almost two years later, he and my son are, believe it or not, almost friends.

  15. Cindy Merrill says

    Sometimes fate has a way of taking revenge- my number one enemy throughout my childhood is serving time in a womans’s prison- she murdered her cheating boyfriend and then shot her own baby.
    Bullies always end up paying for their deeds somehow or other.

  16. Kimberly Davis says

    I am embarrassed to say I was a bully.then one day one of the girls I was about to beat up just looked me straight into my eyes and within that second I felt my heart break. That was the end of my bulling days forever. To this day I won’t stand for someone to be bullied. I think bully’s should be punished very harshly. I really regret being a bully. I hate it. God bless the kids I hurt.

  17. Debbie Petch says

    My childhood was ruined because I had a speech impediment. I was beaten, tormented and called retard virtually every day until I got into high school. It has changed who I am. Deb

  18. lisa lo says

    I am the bully…to my loud obnoxious drunk druggie neighbors. They irritate the living crud outa me.

  22. Charlene says

    My son was bullied when he was in school but thank god grew up to be a strong and confident man. Unfortunately we don’t find that many success stories, it’s usually the other way. We need to teach our children at an early age that it’s not ok to make fun of people, to gang up on them. It’s very destructive to someones emotions and self-esteem. Please educate yourselves and your children. It’s a matter of life and death.

  23. Emily @ Baby Dickey says

    My kids are not in school yet, but I think about this a lot. Bullying these days is terrible, especially with the internet. It’s so important to teach our children to be kind and caring and compassionate… and how to work out frustrations in another way. Thanks for sharing this important message!

  25. Roz says

    I was bullied in junior high for being Italian in a midwestern town. Everyone thought my family was in the Mafia, yet there were no guns or violence allowed in our home; we were not even allowed to hunt to place harm on any creature. Someone spit on my sister, and no one was allowed to come over and play with me or become friends. I had no dates to the prom, no dates at all. Kids called me unacceptable names such as ‘wop’ and ‘dago’. It was horrible. This is a wonderful cause!

  26. DiAnne Sundberg says

    I was bullied when I was in eighth grade. A classmate who lived a few houses away picked on me at school and on the way to and from school also. It got so bad I couldn’t go to school out of fear of being jumped on and being beaten by this girl. My parents wound up sending me to live with my grandparents clear across the country for six months. I was 13 years old and torn away from my family. I loved my grandparents, but I missed my sisters and brother. Being bullied is not fun and the effects last a lifetime! I am 62 and I still recall everything she did to me. People need to be educated and they need to be vigilant in stopping bullying. Thank you.

  27. Linda S Moore says

    My granddaughter was bullied by a boy classmate. Thank goodness one of the teachers was my daughter’s best friend and was able to get the problem taken care of. I took the pledge and hate anything to do with bullying. There has to be something that can be done. I don’t think bullies should be allowed to go to school with the kids they are bullying. Send them to a special school where there are only bullies and see which is the worst then. Maybe they will stop and think about what they are doing. I know that is not really the solution but it sure makes you mad when someone you love so much is bullied by a kid that is much bigger and leaves bruises on that little person you love so much. It is hard to feel sympathy for any bully.

  29. Darlene Ysaguirre says

    This is a huge deal in our society kids bullying others for being different , as parents i think its part of our job to educate our children so that they do not become bullies or if they see someone else getting bullied they lend a helping hand.

  35. Angela says

    Bullying has gotten so out of control. It so seldom happened when I was a kid. It’s reached an all new level of cruelty. I am glad to see this issue coming front and center.

  38. Seyma Shabbir says

    Pledged. I remember being bullied up to HS, I think parents and teachers can take a bigger role in preventing it. As a parent, I talk to my sons about this all the time and they are only 3 and 5. My 3 year old bullies my 5 year old and it is a daily struggle to teach him but I am sure as he gets older he will.

  39. CyberStalked says

    I will take the pledge, gladly. It is important we understand that there are adult still acting like childish bullies and they are equally as destructive to society as bullies. So not only must we work to end bullying, but also adult cyber stalking and harassment, as well.

    Enjoyed reading your post and am very happy for you that your story had a happy ending. May we see more of those!

  40. sandra davis says

    took the pledge…..a friend of mines daughter committed suicide from being bullied………..such a tragedy

  42. Tammy S says

    I took the pledge. I think we all just need to work together to make both kids and adults realize that sometimes words cut just as much as a knife. Let’s all try to led by example.

  44. Charlotte says

    My daughter was bullied in preschool. She was called names for being fat. How do 4 year old even know what fat is? This was the worst 6 months ever. As a mom all I could do is instil positive words in to her life and pray over her. These are things kids should never have to deal with. Great post!

  45. Dawn Lopez says

    Great post and program! Thanks for sharing it, I just pledged! Bullying is the main reason we decided to homeschool. It has gone on all year with no real help from our school. During the last week of school .. the main bully sucker punched my son and the school was totally over it. I went and persisted that they take action, which they “mostly” did at that point.. but in the end we decided to get our son out of there.

  46. Lorna K says

    I took the pledge, it’s sad that in this day and age nothing is being done in a lot of places. When my son was in middle school he was being bullied, we ended up having to take him out of school. Now, we have grandchildren in school, I hope everyday they don’t have to deal with the same situation. I feel for all of the parents and children dealing with this. I wish the parents and schools not dealing with it would wake up! Sorry, rant over 🙂

    Life with RA is a Pain

    • queenb says

      Don’t apologize. We all have stories like this. We need to educate and stand up- if it’s our family or someone elses! Thank you for sharing!

  47. Closer to Lucy says

    I’m in!
    It’s time that we all did more than just say that bullying is wrong….too many kids are getting kicked while those that should be looking out for them turn the other way. Bullying punishments in schools need to come with the harsher penalties of zero tolerance, even if the bullying is off campus. If the students go to school with their victim it affects them on campus.

  48. Laura says

    I took the pledge and tweeted it out too! As a parent I worry about my child being the bully as well as getting bullied. I try to lead by example and teach my children that we are all people who deserve to be treated with kindness and that there are consequences for bad behavior.

    I think that as a social society many people lack what should be common social skills and feel entitled to being treated a certain way. Look at the way the media {magazines and such} treat celebrities… I mean really Kim Kardashian is pregnant – carrying a life inside of her… comparing her to a killer whale is awful. shame on them. More people need to take a stand and lead by example. —- Stepping off soapbox now—-

  50. Cristine says

    My son has been bullied before. It is so hard for parents to fight against these poor choices by other children. We try to teach our children respect and kindness for everyone. It is so disappointing when other parents don’t follow suit.

  51. Jenn says

    Bullying is such an awful experience (I know! i was bullied from grade 6-8. I ended up dropping out of school at the end of gr 8 because it got so bad!) I hate that its been taken to a whole new level! I

  52. Chelsea @ Someday I'll Learn says

    Information and education are definitely key. “Bullying” seems to be such a hot word right now that it’s becoming a witch hunt. I feel like the only way we’ll stop the cruelty is to get children, teachers and parents alike to commit to an open discussion on the topic to understand the root of the issue in each individual situation. Snap judgements and “zero tolerance” policies are SO counterproductive, in my opinion.

  57. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

    Oh geez, I didn’t say that in response to YOUR situation! I hope you didn’t think that. I just saw so many parents run right over the principal because when their kids got in trouble, they threatened to sue. It was a HUGE problem at the elementary my son went to, not with bullies, but with entitlement of parents for their kids.

    I totally went off on a tangent. Sorry!

      • queenb says

        Liz, I feel the same way. I think there’s going to be a lot more “wrong” with our society until the pendulum swings back into discipline and respect. The entitlement thing is just awful. Its very sad. I’m just doing the best I can to make sure my kids grow up to NOT think they are entitled to everything and everything.

  58. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell says

    I think bullying has been around for as long as time has been around, but it has just reached a new level of cruelty and it’s getting harder for kids to have safe havens from it. I also think parents are way more lax on their kids than they used to be. I can’t think of too many of my friends’ parents who wouldn’t have cracked the whip at the mere suggestion their child was bullying, but the parents’ of kids today? Oh no…they cry foul and not MY child. 🙁

    • queenb says

      I feel like most parents today say “not MY child…” far too often. And it scares me how much CAN happen with bullying these days. Too much. If my parents so much as thought I was contemplating bullying, I’d have had a swift, severe punishment- and no way no how would I ever. But I knew better.

  59. JulieK says

    I’m glad you provided a clear definition of bullying. Sometimes I think kids/people like to accuse others of bullying just to get THEM into trouble – this kind of spiteful false accusation itself is a form of bullying that I saw a lot of when I was a teacher.

  60. Ashleigh says

    Thanks for bringing this to my attention! My husband is a principal at a middle school and I hear and see first hand the damage it does to our youth. I’ve seen pictures and heard story after story of the horrible consequences bullying has. I am happy to take the pledge! I may not be the best mom in the world, but my kids know they will never hear the end of it if they are mean to anyone at school or if I find out they are excluding other kids. They may not go to bed on time or eat their veggies, but they will hopefully grow up knowing how to treat others.

  64. Pam says

    My daughter was bullied in sixth grade to the point that I took her out and homeschooled her for three years. I am happy to take the pledge.

    • queenb says

      I never knew that was why you decided to homeschool, Pam. That must have been a really hard time for your family 🙁

    • JulieK says

      My parents pulled my brother AND myself and my sister out of school b/c he was being bullied. I was fine and was unhappy to leave but he was SO miserable. 🙁

  65. Ellen Christian says

    Bullying is such an awful thing to deal with. My son is being bullied at his school now and as hard as we work with the school, they are having a really hard time stopping it. Very frustrating.

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