When it’s Mother’s Day weekend, and your mom isn’t here anymore, it can be a lot of emotions brought to the surface. Especially if you are faltering, and missing your mom, and the best advice from mom is exactly what you need…like me.
Best Advice from Mom
Our friends at Dunkin asked me to share some of the best advice from mom I can remember- in honor of Mother’s Day weekend- in partnership with them. I did intend to do that, but somehow managed to write a whole post about the worst advice she gave. But keep reading, because it turns out to be ok by the end. Maybe make a cup of coffee to sip while you read this.
Do as I say, not as I do
My mom loathed having her picture taken. 66 years of her very full life and I only have a handful.
I was searching for photos to go along with this best advice from mom for our friends at Dunkin when my oldest snapped this shot and at first, I hated it. I look gross, I thought. I am in stay home all day clothes, and so on.
But then something nudged my heart to look again. A mama, looking at her family memories in photos. A curious daughter on her lap asking questions and enjoying hearing the stories behind each photo. Or just a name, or a joke about the way we looked in the 70’s.
And a son, intrigued enough by the conversation to put down the Xbox controller and look along with them.
Shared moments. Shared memories. Family. Love. A moment captured.
Isn’t that what Mother’s Day is all about? Isn’t this the very thing we Mother’s want to cherish? These MOMENTS? Snapshots in time?
See through their eyes
I may not love the way I look in this photo, but I’ve fallen in love with it. It’s not perfect but it’s a moment with two of my children, thoughtfully captured by my third.
For the love of coffee
It’s not a surprise to me that shared moments in my family have coffee involved. My mom took her coffee very seriously (and her cigarettes too, sadly).
Treasured Memories
My most favorite time of the year was early Christmas morning when she’d let me go down to the kitchen with her and sit begging her to open my stocking or JUST ONE PRESENT while she put monkey bread in the oven and brewed a pot of coffee. Not until the coffee’s ready was always the answer. On Christmas or any other morning. I’d give anything for one more of those mornings, or a photo of one.
Now, decades later, I am the same. Not until I have my coffee. Let’s talk over coffee. We make a lot of baked goods with coffee as an ingredient. Coffee is great!
A child’s grief
This is my sweet 9 year old who was born 13 days after my mom died. She won’t ever meet her grandma and she has only seen a handful of photos of her. It makes her sad.
Listen, friends. Put the pot on. Or stop and grab a Box o’ Joe from your local Dunkin. Pick up a coffee for your favorite mom – your own mom, a member of your mom tribe, a sister, a daughter, and share a moment. Create a memory. Take the picture. Bake a coffee cake to go with fresh coffee.
A mom’s best advice
My mother gave me some great advice throughout my life. Some I embraced as she shared it. Some, I fought with all my might against. Some, I’m appreciating more every day, even now. But somehow, some way, this Mother’s Day weekend, I am oddly focused on the worst advice my mother ever gave me was her example of not being in photos.
I turned 45 yesterday. I’ve followed her example for too long. I can’t go back and get more photos with her. I cannot capture the moments like my teen did today. But I can learn from my mistakes and do better, be better.
Which is is something else my mom always taught me.
Happy Mother’s Day
Happy Mother’s Day, friends. May your moms advice or example be a blessing more often than not. May your coffee be hot and the door always open.
Much love to you all.
Michelle D. Garrett says
I needed this! My mother and I’s relationship has been strained for years. There’s communication but it’s … interesting. Add in being adopted, there’s just so much that’s difficult to come to terms with. As a mom, I try to take the lessons I learned from my mom – the good and the not-so-good – to improve upon the relationship I have with my children and hopefully continue to bridge the gap with her, as well.
Ricci says
This is a great post! My Mom passed away several years ago and I still don’t have kids so if I ever do they won’t meet her and that makes me so sad!
Terri Steffes says
I was always behind the lens, but now I am making up for lost time. I take selfies with my daughter all the time!
Beth says
I have also avoided getting my photo taken over the years, and boy do I regret it! I’m always encouraging people to get photos taken while they can. I am not happy with the way I look, but now I want people to be able to remember how much I smiled and laughed when they were with me. I only have a few photos with my kids when they were little, and it breaks my heart because that was such a great time in my life. Thanks for sharing your story, I hope it will help other people too!
Heather says
Great post. I still remember the advice that my mom gave me growing up about a lot of different things. This is nice. <3
Catalina says
Yes, Mother’s Day is about memories, family and cherish family moments with our moms and our children. Great post!
kita says
My mom passed away a couple of years ago but I always remember her best advice. I wish she was still alive to give me more becuase not having that mom figure is hard but I think I am doing ok
Brett says
it is hard. SO SO hard. I am sure you are doing a great job!
Lisa Favre says
“Do as I say, not as I do” – oh my, the amount of times I heard this one!! And I must say, definitely not the best advice I received so I totally agree with you on that.
Jhentea says
Oh! This is so sweet! I really enjoy those pictures and sharing your thoughts about it. I love this and I am so happy!
Denay DeGuzman says
What a wonderful reminder that we moms need to be in more of our family photos. Often, we’re the ones behind the camera capturing others doing memorable activities. Thank you for sharing your own story about lack of photos of your mother. Happy belated Mother’s Day!
Amy H says
I’m trying really hard to make sure I am in more photos with my kids. I look back, I cherish photos of me and my mom, and my grandma
Theresa says
Moms are usually behind the lens, but we really should get in front of it more often. Our children will appreciate having photos of mom to look back on when we’re gone. I need to get more of my own mama before it’s too late. I do, however, buy her a bag of Dunkin’ coffee for every holiday because I know it’s her favorite.
Jill Robbins says
My mom is 77 and she will never get in the picture with my kids. It makes me sad. I love the message this post sends – and allllll the coffee, too.
robin rue says
I hear you. After my mom passed we saw that she wasn’t in many photos over the years, so I am doing my best to be in the pics now.
Amber Myers says
What a sweet post! Mothers are pretty fabulous. And now I want some Dunkin. I love their donuts. I wish I liked coffee! I normally go for a Coolata.
Nancy at Whispered Inspirations says
I appreciate my Mom so much and she was always right and still is. I love looking back on photos and I still love capturing memories today! I gotta pick up some Dunkins for her and bring it over.
cait says
this def cna be tricky for sure- we all want advice but its hard to take it too. def a coffee drinker and hope you had a great mothers day!
Alli Smith says
My mom passed three years ago – the day before Mother’s Day – so Mother’s Day is always bittersweet. I try to remember the good times and look through photo albums. I don’t care to have my photos taken but after reading this, I’m going to insert myself into more family photos.