The teenager’s life is a complicated journey of self-discovery, making it difficult for many in this phase. From dealing with social pressures to understanding personal changes, your teenager may be undergoing a wave of confusion. This is evident in the statistics, which show that about 42% of high schoolers feel sad and hopeless. Increased confidence and self-esteem help them navigate this path and prepare them for life. As a parent, you may be wondering how you can help in this regard. Below are effective and practical ways to boost your teenager’s confidence and self-esteem as shared by a contributor.
How To Boost Your Teenager’s Self-Esteem and Confidence
Show them unconditional love
In the midst of it all, your child wants to feel loved and wanted for who they are. The truth is, your teenager may be living a double life! At school, they may be trying to live up to the expectation of their fellow students to get into various social circles. This may mean they must put aside who they truly are, which can be draining. Additionally, not being accepted who they are can cause a decrease in their self-esteem and confidence. As a parent, you have the task of letting your teenager know they are accepted and loved regardless of their friendship group, grades, school, and others.
Give them reassurance
It is also important to offer reassurance to your child. There are a lot of overwhelming emotions your child experiences through their teenage years. In their quest to improve their confidence and self-esteem, they would need to make pretty tough decisions. Some of these decisions may lead to consequences they are unsure are positive. For example, if your child decides not to compromise on their values and morals to be in a friendship, they would lose friends. This can be a confusing dilemma for them. In such cases, being assured they are doing the right thing can be helpful, so feel free to consider this. Therefore, as a parent, you must reassure your child that their decisions are the best. You should explain that growth and maturity can be challenging, but that doesn’t mean they are doing something wrong.
Be a model of confidence
Children learn a lot from their parents, from how they talk to various habits— no matter how small. Therefore, to boost your teenager’s confidence and self-esteem, it is important to ensure that you showcase such confidence and self-esteem. For instance, if you constantly criticize yourself, complain about your looks, or engage in negative self-talk, your child will pick up on these habits. Instead, let your child see you exhibit the very principles you have been teaching them about. Additionally, when offering advice, you can consider using examples of yourself and how you overcame challenges. Be sure to do this in a way that doesn’t undermine your child’s struggle but instead encourages them to know that if you can overcome it, so can they.
Help them gain new skills
Shot of a group of teenagers building a pile of wood at summer camp
A common factor that tends to lower one’s self-esteem and confidence is the lack of skills. Be it academically, physically, emotionally, or socially, your child may be noticing that they do struggle in some aspects. This may not seem like a good idea initially, but for your teenager, this could make them feel inadequate. They may resolve to negative self-talk, lower self-esteem, and reduced self-worth. To fix this, you should encourage your child through their challenges. First, you must know the exact challenges they face. For example, if you’ve noticed your child struggling academically, it is important to know what exactly the problem is or which subject. Once you’ve done this, you can devise a plan to help them fix it by getting them a tutor or helping them with a study routine. It would be best to promote self-improvement by encouraging your child to help them identify their strengths and weaknesses. You can also help them plan to achieve these goals, so feel free to consider this.
Make room for failure
Following the previous point, teenagers may likely label themselves a “failure” and other negative names. Additionally, your child may make mistakes and setbacks they would beat themselves over. This is mostly because your child has associated their self-worth with success and praise. Consequently, their self-esteem and confidence would be negatively impacted. Although you may want your children to be successful in life, it is important to make room for failure. When you panic or gloss over their failure, not only are you encouraging failure, but you’re also solidifying your teen’s unhealthy labels. It is vital to explain to your child that failure is a part of life and should be embraced. Explain to your child that mistakes form a valuable part of life and can be a valuable lesson for the future. This would give them the confidence to handle the obstacles they face.
Praise them for their efforts instead of the outcome
Of course, you love seeing your child’s several awards, medals, trophies, and so on. So, understandably, you may go overboard, gushing over them with how proud you are of them for their achievements. On the surface, you may think this is a great way to boost their confidence, but the opposite occurs. Your child may connect this to thinking they’re only worthy when they accomplish something. This means they will feel defeated and less confident if they don’t get these desired results. Therefore, as a parent, you should praise them for their efforts during the process and look less at the results. For example, if your child is trying to lose unhealthy weight, praise them for their efforts instead of waiting for them to get slimmer. You can also encourage them during the process by offering some advice and being open to understanding how they feel. Suppose your child is experiencing body dysmorphia. In that case, you can offer assistance by being in a safe space where they would feel appreciated. You can also offer advice and help them navigate the situation. For example, you can shop online with them to find cute boho dresses and other outfits to make them feel good about themselves, so keep this in mind.
Build their self-worth
Teens are eager to feel accepted and wanted. In today’s digital world, worth seems to be based on the number of likes you have on a post or how many followers you have on various social media platforms. If your child depends on this to determine their worth, it may explain their low confidence and self-esteem. This is why it is essential to implement ways to help them build their self-worth. Indeed, self-worth is knowing your value and the respect you deserve. Help your teen in this regard by letting them understand that there’s more to life than the superficial things like social media followings and other material things most teenagers fuss over. Teach them the importance of being kind to themselves and making themselves a priority. You should also emphasize your values and help them understand how this can go a long way to helping them feel better about themselves.
Offer constructive criticism
Criticism can be a tough pill to swallow and affect a teen’s self-esteem and confidence, even for adults. On the one hand, criticism can cause a negative effect if it bruises one’s ego or makes one feel incompetent and unappreciated. On the other hand, it can be good as it helps identify new perspectives and improve yourself. This is what constructive criticism does. Naturally, your teen may exhibit conduct you’re unhappy with. Instead of criticizing them harshly, you should take time to discuss with them. Avoid comparing them to other siblings, relatives, or friends during such talks. This wouldn’t serve as a form of motivation; it would only make them think less of themselves and further reduce their confidence. It would be best to watch your tone and words to ensure that your child doesn’t mistake this as shame but as advice from a loving and supporting parent. For instance, avoid berating them when they struggle with their academics. Instead, encourage them to see this setback as an opportunity to learn something new and boost their grades. Providing helpful resources to help them achieve this is beneficial, so feel free to consider this.
Be empathetic
Photo by Kindel Media
Empathy, not sympathy, is needed to help your child build their confidence and self-esteem. By practicing empathy with your child, you put yourself in their shoes. This makes it easier to give them the advice they are looking for and makes them feel heard and appreciated. Most importantly, you become a better listener. This means you can gain better insight into your teens’ struggles and offer solutions to bring about desired results.
Helping your teenager boost their confidence and self-esteem not only helps them through their teen years. It also sets them up to be successful adults and allows them to better themselves. Although the above tips are practical and effective, it is not an exhaustive list. You should read reliable sources such as parenting books and blogs to gain more tips or consult other parents.