Mom Confession: My Most EPIC Mom Fail

This real life #AmericanHousewife #MomFail blog post is part of a paid Megan Media and ABC American Housewife blogging program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own.

“My full time job is to make sure one of my kids fits in more and two fit in less.” – Katie Otto, American Housewife

When I got a request in my email a few weeks ago to share a real life #MomFail confession as part of a fun campaign to tell people about American Housewife (a new fall comedy from ABC, premiering on Tuesday, October 11 at 8:30|7:30c on ABC), my first thought was: that sounds super fun! My second thought? How’s a girl to decide WHICH mom fail story to share? I really have so many fails. I’m only human!

And clearly, so is Katie Otto, the main character of “American Housewife” who’s anything but perfect. She’s got flaws. So do her kids and her husband. The show is based in Connecticut (although not the part where I live), and it’s sort of like someone made a show about me. Of course, they didn’t, but Katie is a relatable mom, and it’s refreshing to see her on the screen.

My best mom fail might be my son’s hair. There’s video footage of that on my Facebook page, but I haven’t shared that with you guys yet. See, his hair was getting kind of longish, and needed to either be shaped (which was what I THOUGHT he was going for, because he idolizes El Shaarawy and his crazy hairstyles), or cut. I decided I’d give him a simple buzz cut, and I was doing just fine with the clippers, but then he said he wanted super short sides and a little longer on the top.

 

So, I put the “3” thingie on the clippers and did a strip of hair. In absolute horror, I looked at my son’s nearly bald streak in the middle of his head and turned off the clipper. I wanted to vomit.

 

When I say nearly bald, I mean NEARLY bald, you guys.  As in, maybe like a tenth of a millimeter of blond fuzz was left.

 

There was no way I could do anymore. I’d make it worse, and then worse again. So I panicked.

 

Then I heard: “Mom? Why’d you stop?”

 

I had to tell my boy that apparently, not all “3” thingies on clippers are the same (and yes, friends, I know now that if you call them thingies you have no business using clippers at all, and I no longer have them in my possession) and that it cut way too short, and before Mommy makes it worse we are calling Miss Stacey.

 

He was super brave about it.  ”It’s ok mommy, hair grows back. Stacey can fix it,” he said.

Thankfully, my beloved friend Stacey had her phone on and answered my panic stricken texts. I was babbling to her:

“OMG I JUST RUINED MY SON’S HEAD!”

“PLEASE HELP!”

 

“I MADE MY KID BALD! He can’t go to school like this. I’m mortified.”

But thanks to good friends who are actual trained professionals who don’t scold or lecture, we had a fix.

Ultimately, it was a good-and-bad thing.  He owned that ‘hawk. “High and tight.” I think that’s what Stacey called it. But everyone has been very clear that I’m only allowed hairbrushes, hair accessories, gel and/or shampoo around hair from here on out. Nothing sharp or anything that could be used to cut or trim hair.

My hairdresser days are over. I can’t even say it was fun while it lasted. That mom fail was all too real, and I still feel badly about it. Lesson learned. But, soon another mom fail will happen, and I will proudly don my “world’s okayest mom” t-shirt, and one day these will be funny memories we all laugh about together. I like to think Katie Otto is the mom who would wear one of those shirts right along with me! 

Katie Otto is THE American Housewife. She’s a confident, unapologetic wife and mother of three, raising her flawed family in the wealthy town of Westport, Connecticut. Katie doesn’t fit the stereotype of the “perfect” Westport mom and their “I-have-it-all-together” children; she and her family are only in Westport for the great schools because they might be helpful to their special needs daughter. And you know what? Katie doesn’t care. She loves her husband because he doesn’t understand why someone would wear 2 fitbits! She is real, and she is FUNNY, and most of all she loves her kids.  What other mom on tv has admitted she is wearing a pizza-stained sweater, and wearing it backwards?  The trailer is great! Check it out below:

Are you a REAL mom like Katie Otto? Like me? Take the personality quiz below to find out what kind of American Housewife you are:

AND, check out the American Housewife Instagram Sweeps! Participants can enter by uploading an “Epic Mom Fail” photo to Instagram and using the hashtag #AmericanHousewife in the caption. This will enter you for a chance to win a $500 Amazon gift card. Enter by 10/14/16!

Also, join the American Housewife Twitter Party, which will take place on @SocialMoms Twitter account on October 11th from 4-5PM PST (rules here). They will be giving away a $500 Grand Prize and tons of other great prizes–tweet with the hashtags #AmericanHousewife AND #chat to be entered to win! It’s a great way for us to get pumped up for the premiere and share our greatest and best mom fails together. It’s going to be a great party!