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Preparing Her For That First Period

u by kotex tween productsI’ve been sharing with you my journey relating to first periods, and talking about them, with my 7 year old for several months now (see previous #KotexMom posts).  This is my “final” official post, although I’m sure as the time for her period gets closer down the road, I’ll be sharing more once again.

It’s been a mixed bag of experiences with this series of posts. I’ve had a lot of support, and an overwhelming number of you agree with me that yes, we should talk to our girls ahead of time, so that they can be prepared for what’s coming.  I’ve had a few of you who have emailed me with concerns that preparing my daughter is asking for trouble and that I should just wait until she starts having her period.  I’ve even had a select few folks who had some very unfriendly things to say to me about this.  I’m a firm believer in arming my children with the knowledge they need for things.  To those who don’t agree with my viewpoint, please feel free to stop reading- I won’t be offended but I do hope you’ll try to see my point of view.
I was alone and unprepared when I got my first period, and those feelings didn’t go away for many, many years- thinking something was wrong with me, or that I did something wrong.  I don’t want my girls to experience that. I want them to know that it’s normal and not have to feel embarassed or unprepared.  It’s very easy to keep a U by Kotex pad or two in a tiny pocket of your backpack, just in case, and knowing when and how to use that. I know it’s just as easy to not talk about it, because it isn’t exactly a fun conversation and it’s not a comfortable subject for many. It isn’t comfortable for me, either. I just believe that having the knowledge ahead of time will give my kids tools they need to cope with changes. In all areas of life.

The Kotex site has great tools such as a calendar with facts about puberty, questions your daughter may ask, ways to start the conversation and more.  My daughter isn’t quite ready for this but I’m glad to know it’s there as a resource for both of us when the time comes!

Don’t forget to visit the U by Kotex website for period questions that could be helpful for tweens and teens. I told my friend about this- her daughter started her period a few months ago, and both have said that it’s a great site for her to go with questions. She really loves the U by Kotex products-she said she likes that its a fun color package but mostly it’s smaller than her mom’s period stuff and fits her a lot better.

It’s been an interesting road, with these conversations, but I feel like I’ve opened up new lines of communication with my daughter, even if we don’t revisit them for a few years- and I know it’ll be that much easier when it’s time for the same with my younger daughter.

I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

About Brett

I'm a 40 something lifestyle blogger living in Connecticut with my husband and our 3 kids, plus our two rescue pups. We love to hike, travel, play games, watch movies, and just be outside together! Having 3 active kids makes for a hectic schedule and I try to share content, recipes and other things that can help to make today's busy family life simpler, easier, or just plain more fun!

I started working full time at a local middle school in fall 2021 and some of my students are insistent that I am mean.

Comments

  1. Chelsea says

    I have the same view as you, I definitely want my daughter to be prepared. My mum prepared me and because of that I was actually excited when I first started my period! I was never scared or felt like anything was wrong.

  2. Heather Swarthout says

    I had my mom with me thankfully when it happened to me.. I have a 19 month old daughter, so I’m sure I’ll have to eventually tell her and explain it to her, lol. Eventually!!

  5. Melissa Moreno says

    Thanks for sharing…I always think it’s best to be prepared and tried to make sure my daughters were.

  6. Debbie Welchert says

    My mother did not tell me anything and when that day came that I started my period I was scared to death. I wish she had prepared me before I started. I started talking to my daughter before she started hers and it helped her. I agree with you to tell your daughter before she starts.

  9. krista grandstaff says

    My youngest and only girl (I have three sons as well) is 12…and got her period for the 2nd time, on the first day at a new school this year… and had to run for the bathroom. If I hadn’t prepared her, and had a talk with her in the months leading up to that moment…she would have been so much more mortified than she was…and scared, and worried… we can’t avoid talking about everything that is “unpleasant”, because it doesn’t go away…and they get the wrong information from their friends, etc.. and if I can’t talk to her about her period, how am I ever going to have her comfortable enough to talk with me about sex, and pedophiles, and all of the other things our kids are faced with at an earlier and earlier age…?!

  12. Becky Kuntz says

    I think it is a great idea to prepare your daughter for what is coming. I was a late bloomer and my daughter’s began their periods earlier than I did. I was ready and so were my daughters, but some girls begin their periods even earlier and it is better to be prepared and know what is going on then be in the dark and scaredd!

  13. chrissy c says

    I have a 10 year old and I’m not ready for this! After reading your review and the other comments it sounds like kotex is the way to go.

  14. krystal says

    my little boy just turned 3 nov. and he loves the wii..never tried the wiiU but he sure is in love with mario and friends we have to play every night :o)

  16. Brenda Burgess says

    I remember when it was my two daughters first experience. I think the U brands are wonderful.

  20. nikki krutz says

    I totally agree with preparing our children for things. Its a simple as having a bedtime routine with a young child, they know what to expect. I have always been honest with all of my kids about what is going to happen, like when I know they are going to get shots, “you are going to get a shot today, it will hurt for a minute but then it will feel better”. for me, telling them up front has always helped and made whatever situation easier. I have 3 boys and 1 girl who is only 4 and who i will talk to early about her period when she gets a little bit older, probably around 7 or 8. My two older sons are almost 13 and 11 and i have talked to them about safe sex, drugs, alcohol, safety, and i always explain why i am telling them things. Open communication, whether its about menstration or whatever, is key to children being able to trust their parents to be able to come to them with questions. thank you for your blog about this! 🙂

  22. Jenn says

    So glad that is done and over with. My youngest actually went to her older sister, so I only had to help one

  24. Mary Alicia Hayes says

    Hve 3 boys…..only a step daughter, and she was 11 or 12…emotions were horrible at first

  26. nicole barr says

    I think its great you can talk to your daughters about getting their first period my daughter is only 5 so I wont bediscussing this with her for a few more years mainly because she wont understand it yet but I hope when the time comes I can explain what having your period means and she wont be so confused and scared

  28. Theresa Reed says

    I think that as women we should take the time to explain how are bodies are going to change as we get older. When I was in grade school they supplied us with a book about what will have to us as we get older. I’m very glad I had that book to answer my question. The women that are giving you a hard time about talk to your daughter at this age should be grateful to you for wanting to get this information out to help explain what a period is. Thanks for sharing. Good luck when the time comes for your daughter to start her period. 🙂

  29. Eileen says

    Four girls. And the last one has crossed that milestone. It can be scary for them but so nice all this publicity helps. My daughter actually asked for the U brands. She’s really self conscious about all this so it was actually a good thing when her brother who is 2 years older started talking about it being no big deal and that actually made it better. Girls are often more embarrassed or shy to think the boys in the house might know. Saying it out loud helped at our house.

  31. krista says

    my daughter is 10 no period yet but we have had the talk and what cracked me up is when she asked me how many times will she get her period lmao

  32. Chelle Thompson says

    I have a 21 yr old daughter, so I’ve been there and done this. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. I like Kotex because it is a great value for the cost!

  35. Barbara S says

    I have a son who has all friends that are girls and thats all girls talk about now. so different from when I was younger. my son knows more than me. LOL

  36. regina martinez says

    With one 17 year old girl i v been through this and it was a bonding time for both of us !!

  37. Michelle P. says

    My mom let the school tell me during the maturation program. Freaked. Out.

    I will probably have a chat with my daughter . . . but hopefully she stays 3 forever. 😉

  39. Melinda Dartmann says

    All of my daughters are grown and in their 30’s. I wish I had stuff like this when they were starting their periods and I talked to them. Brilliant idea!

  40. Kathleen says

    I have three daughters, so I could identify with this post. Once my oldest daughter started her period, it started an ongoing conversation so that the other two were much more aware of what was going to happen. It’s nice that nowadays it is more open to discuss these things, so that young girls no longer have to be scared or embarrassed.

  41. Jessica Dunn says

    I had to have that talk with my daughters. I was lucky that they felt they could come to me with any questions.

  42. Alex says

    I’m not a mom, but this sounds like a really awkward conversation to have. Glad there are resources for moms and daughters out there!

  43. rebeka deleon says

    i have a long ways to go before i have to do that! my daughter is only 2 and i have another on the way so i will be ready when it comes! 🙂

  44. Jacqueline H. says

    My daughter is only 2 years old so I have a while before I have to talk to her about this.

  45. olga says

    Well I am a mother of 3 boys so thank god they dont have to go through having periods, because I suffer every month and i couldnt imagine having a girl to go through what I go through each month.

  46. Oralia Santiago says

    I love it that they make it simple for parents to teach their daughters about their periods, but it is a scary thought, it is a conversation I would like to avoid :/

  48. Lanie says

    I do not have any kids, but I am sure by the time I do the products will be much more advanced. They are always coming out with new products!

  50. mandy says

    I still have quite a few years before i get to talk to my daughter about it, but i’m so glad that with all the technology out there, it makes it easier for us to go through everything together, in case she has questions that i can’t answer

  51. Helene Tienda says

    I’m still waiting for my 14 year old to get hers!?!? I’ve spoken to her though, and I don’t know if she is hiding it, or she really doesn’t have it yet.

  52. Megan says

    What kind of freak of nature would tell you that you shouldn’t tell your daughter ahead of time? People never cease to amaze me…..

  53. Lauren Phillips says

    I don’t have a daughter but I remember the conversation with my own mom! The first products she bought me were Kotex but there wasn’t a special “tween” brand!

  55. Casandra C. says

    I remember the original first period kit! I got it when I was younger, I also got it for each of my girls. They have certainly updated the look.

  56. Janet says

    I have two daughters ones 23 and ones 12 and im use to dealing with it I was raised with 4 sisters and they learn fast and got it down lol

  57. Dorothy Boucher says

    i found it easy to talk with my girls as they came of age, i think my girls just wanted to know why not the boys LOLL

  58. Robin Quick says

    I dont have daughters but this would have been great if I did. I didnt get a talk or anything when I got mine at age 11. Its a scary time & moms need all the help they can get so they know the right things to say & do for their daughters.

  60. Jenny says

    I think its great to be having chats with daughter about it. They do need to know what is going to happen to them. I was like you and wasn’t told anything. Needless to say that didn’t turn out well.

  61. Lucy Lopez says

    My granddaughter got hers when she was nine. Her mom had not talk to her about it so she was embarrassed and didn’t say anything to anyone. Went to school and had an accident and her mom was called and thats when she found out. I feel it is best to have them prepared.

  63. Alexandra Clatterbuck says

    My daughter is almost 8…I started when I was about 13 I think, but they are starting younger and younger now. This will come in handy. Thank you.

  65. Beth says

    I too am kinda glad I have a son….although I know the day will come when we deal with different issues, lol! Every child is a blessing, boy or girl! Every girl can use a supportive Mom when it comes to her period. I know my Mom was so supportive, and that made all the difference in the world when the time came. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  68. Mary Jo Mudd says

    This is great!! Wish they would have had this stuff when I was young!! My sisters filled me in on what to expect, I thought they were joking, but noooo, they werent lol … My first comment didnt show up, now they probably both will lolol

  69. Mary Jo Mudd says

    I have boys, so I didnt have to do this. But, it would have been nice if they had all the stuff they have now, back when I went thru it. My sisters told me about it, and what to expect.

  70. Lisa B. says

    I have two boys so I don’t have to deal with this with them! But I would have love all these things when I was younger! Thanks 🙂

  71. Amanda C says

    Our daughters are 2 & 5. I’m so not looking forward to when this time comes for them, but I will be sure they know I’m here if they have any questions about it!

  73. Julie Sullivan says

    I found that it was really easy to talk to my daughter about that time of the month, I felt that if it was something that I had to experience as a woman she needed to know..

  78. Anjie B. says

    My daughter is only 6- but hopefully they will have the “tween” sizes still when she gets her first period. I HATED the little bag I got at 5th grade maturation, this stuff would be SO much better to have around!

  79. Chelsea says

    I’m hoping my daughter won’t start until at least 13, like I did. I felt like my childhood was ended in one fell swoop.

  80. Stefani says

    I have 3 daughters, 2 of them have already started. It isn’t too bad but the house can be moody at times. 🙂

  82. Beeb Ashcroft says

    I have a lot of thoughts on this one concerning the double standards and bizarre shame that surrounds women’s health. I’ll save the rant, but I will say that so many young girls have no idea what a period is when they start, and are terrified that they’re dying or injured, don’t understand what’s happening, or go through extreme embarrassment with soiled pants at school, and so on. It’s critical for young girls to know what menstruation is BEFORE it happens, and there are many simple, age-appropriate ways to do this. So a big high-five to you!

  83. Sabrina R says

    I wish I would have had the talk with my mom, I was clueless! I think education is so key to being prepared and this is a great thing to do for your daughter!

  84. Liz says

    It is probably one of the scariest things a girl has to go through. It’s not that bad once you know what it’s like and have had one, but there’s a learning curve. I think we’re wise to do all we can to make them feel confident in advance.

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