My parents and I weren’t close when I was growing up. We really weren’t close when I was a young adult. It wasn’t until I’d married and got pregnant after my first miscarriage that the broken in our relationship began to heal, hearts warmed… forgiveness and understanding given. I spent a great deal of my high school, college, and first years out of college kind of spinning, wondering who I was supposed to be, and how in the world I was supposed to get there. To say I struggled is an understatement.
I’d had this idea in my head… for so long. I’d get engaged at 24, married at 25, and then have 2 boys, a girl, and maybe another child or two. Now, I didn’t have a specific husband in mind, I’d just always assumed I’d meet him in college or shortly after and my adult life would start as planned.
Well, it didn’t. Not even close! Although I did meet my husband at 26. So there’s that??! But before I was ready (in every sense of the word, and really, truly ready to meet someone who would love me for me and laugh at my quirks, not insist i change who I was)… I had a lot of time to myself, with few and far between ‘suitors’ who, well, really weren’t worth anyone’s time. I also made a million mistakes, some small, some enormous, and just really floundered with early adulthood. It wasn’t pretty.
And the one person who had such unfailing faith in me, just for being ME….my sister, C…. I am not sure I could ever explain to her just what her presence has been in my life. It’s not that she’s always supported me, because she has. But she’s also the one person who’s had the courage and strength to tell me how it is and not sugar coat when I’m being a stupid idiot…which I have been on many occasions. She’s been the one constant cheerleader in my life, the one who’s always been there, applauding my successes, weeping at my heartache, encouraging every hope. For good, for bad, she’s been there, and she’s shown me how to live with grace, with humor, and a whole lot of coffee (with a little wine).
She helped me to figure out how to start the process of buying a car when I was approximately forty days out of college with a low paying teaching position and no money. When I needed extra money, she’d find reasons to go out so I could babysit. Her love, her belief in the very core of ME, has given me strength I never knew I had more times than I can count. I can tell you with zero hesitation I’d not be who I am, where I am, without my sister.
Buying that first “real” car, figuring out what health insurance plan is worth it, finding a doctor for checkups…learning to cook real, actual meals for myself, all of those things I could have been 100% on my own for- I wasn’t. I had my sister, and she never did give me direct answers, never gave me a handout, but she helped me to find those answers I needed to find within myself, she’d yell at me when I was screwing up or making a bad choice, and through it all…she was just there.
Like a good neighbor State Farm is there.
I hope that one day, my own girls find such strength in each other, and give back to one another. They’ll be so very blessed to have a sister like I have.
Disclosure: Compensation was provided by State Farm via Mode Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of State Farm.